My divorce has been final for five years now and last night I got to thinking about how long it really takes to heal a broken heart. I think I'm at a bit of disadvantage. I've often been accused of being in love with love. I think that is right and that's what I am still. I spent 25 years with a man that continuously cheated on me and I didn't even notice. I was in love and that's all that really mattered to me. I may be a fool but for 25 years I was a very happy fool.
When the other shoe dropped I was unaware that the first shoe dropped in the first place. Like I said a very happy fool was I.
I'm writing up what happened to my life. I call it "Loosing it All." My treatis is almost done but I'm still not sure I can share it with the world. I may change the names and send it to the magazines to see if it resonates with the needs of the reading public. It just may. I had everything a woman could want: a husband, two kids, a beautiful home, a thriving career and an active social life with lots of friends. Then he left, and everything went to pieces.
But, its been five years and I've been working at healing up the gapping whole in my heart. I can't say I'm 100% but I'm lots better and now I'm ready to share my thoughts and feelings with other women who find themselves abandoned after a life time of caring for someone.
It's not an easy road to travel. After a long relationship, it's hard to get back into circulation especially since at my age the men are not a attractive as they used to be. So pickins are slim.
And, I'm not the same sweet young thing I used to be either. That in inself is a double sided coin. I'm also not as needy as I used to be and I can afford to be patient. Being alone is not all that bad. I don't have any negative voices badgering me to do stuff I really don't want to do.
So, positive self awareness is the first of my milestones to a fully healed broken heart.
I wish this for every woman who has been in my shoes. And shoes, that the topic of another conversation.
Love to all of you,
Linda
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